"These are forms of male aggression that only women see. But even when men are afforded a front seat to harassment, they don’t always have the correct vantage point for recognizing the subtlety of its operation. Four years before the murders, I was sitting in a bar in Washington, D.C. with a male friend. Another young woman was alone at the bar when an older man scooted next to her. He was aggressive, wasted, and sitting too close, but she smiled curtly at his ramblings and laughed softly at his jokes as she patiently downed her drink. ‘Why is she humoring him?’ my friend asked me. ‘You would never do that.’ I was too embarrassed to say: ‘Because he looks scary’ and ‘I do it all the time.’

Women who have experienced this can recognize that placating these men is a rational choice, a form of self-defense to protect against setting off an aggressor. But to male bystanders, it often looks like a warm welcome, and that helps to shift blame in the public eye from the harasser and onto his target, who’s failed to respond with the type of masculine bravado that men more easily recognize."

bisexualpiratequeen:

the battle between protecting and loving myself and being kind to others is constant

and it’s important to remember that selfishness is not inherently bad and that thinking you’re great is ok

and important to remember that you shouldn’t hollow yourself out to fulfill the needs of others

but also important to remember that others have a right to impose their OWN boundaries and express their OWN needs

Pausing in the middle of a fic because you can literally feel the waves of second hand embarrassment when your OTP does something stupid

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About spoilers

blackswanpatronus:

I sincerely hope that these spoilers aren’t true but unfortunately the speculations are reaching a level where they can’t be ignored. 

I urge Fox or the Glee writers to be upfront about a potential romance between Dave Karofsky and Blaine because the ramifications of such a relationship go far beyond any disappointment or anger about the breaking up of Klaine. It is truly in the interest of their viewers’ health and safety to be very clear about this particular plot. 

Many of Glee’s viewers identify with the character of Kurt because of their own traumatic experiences of bullying, harassment and abuse. Some of these viewers have moved on but others are still sadly living that particular nightmare. While Kurt and Karofsky might have reached some sort of understanding, my experience with children and adults who are or were being bullied is that the face of your tormentor can still haunt you, months and years after the traumatic events. 

For many of Kurt’s fans Karofsky has come to personify the fear they are faced with every day, and as such he triggers their own memories of horrific experiences. Just because his character has accepted himself and acknowledged that his behaviour was wrong, does not mean his actions are automatically forgiven, and they are most definitely not forgotten.

Blaine has for the most part represented happiness and most of all SAFETY for Kurt. He was introduced as Kurt’s defender and his continuous support and role as protector and safe haven stood in sharp contrast to the fear and unpredictability that Karofsky brought.

Even a persistent rumour that Blaine and Karofsky might actually be involved in a romance would be enough to trigger severe anxiety in anyone who has ever found hope in Kurt’s character. To even contemplate that Blaine, who knows what Karofsky did to Kurt IN DETAIL, would accept and decide to overlook the emotional abuse inflicted on a person he has loved so deeply for such a long time, is nothing short of traumatic.

Again - I’m aware that these are rumours, perhaps they are even a stunt to get people talking about Glee, but in that case I implore the people responsible to reconsider your tactics. Feel free to cynically exploit the passion of Klainers if you feel that it brings the kind of publicity and attention you seek, but do NOT toy with people who might have a very real and very valid reason to feel traumatised by the idea of the fiancé and former bully of their favourite character entering into a relationship. 

I wish I was joking and exaggerating but I cannot emphasise enough how serious I am about this: 

Fox and Glee need to be CLEAR and HONEST about this particular issue because of the real and severe consequences a plot of this kind might have.

things that i and like 99% of the fandom will never consider to be a good idea:

  • blainofsky

things that i and like 99% of the fandom will never care about:

  • blainofsky

things that i and like 99% of the fandom will never be interested in:

  • blainofsky

things that will never in a million years get higher raitings:

  • blainofsky

things that don’t make any sense:

  • blainofsky

things that should never ever ever be on glee:

  • blainofsky

things that no one wants to see or hear or even think about:

  • blainofsky
  • blainofsky
  • blainofsky
  • karlaine
  • blaine and karofsky being romantically involved
  • anything about karofsky tbh